First Times  River
by grumpyjenn
Summary: River and her Doctor have a love for the ages - but it's timey-wimey. Companion piece to First Times - Doctor


A/N: As always, many thanks to Snowy Ashes and beverlymaldoran for editing and suggestions and re-phrasings and moral support.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-

The first time the Doctor made love to River Song, she was on a field trip for her degree in archaeology. She'd hoped she would see him there; they were studying the tunnels under Messaline, and everyone knew he'd started the terraforming on that planet. She hadn't seen him since the hospital, when he'd given her the Blue Book. After she'd killed him. And then saved him.

She barely knew him. But on some level, she loved him. Always had. Always would. It was Amy's fault, of course, Amy'd built him up as this wonderful person, this mythical figure, and he _was_. Old and young, arrogant and sweet, heedless and oh, so _kind_. She'd been studying him for months now, and her studies had simply not borne out what she had been taught - _programmed to believe_ - as a child. But she wasn't a child anymore. She might be only in her twenties on her personal timeline - no matter that she looked forty - but she had certainly lived a full life for all that. She was looking forward to meeting him when she wasn't trying to kill him.

River looked measuringly at the tent-mate assigned to her for this field trip. Nice enough young woman, not overly bright, a bit thick even, but eager and willing to help whenever asked. She clearly thought that River was _ancient_ at the forty or so she appeared to be, and was simply too nice to say so. River rather liked her, in a fond pat-the-child-on-the-head sort of way. She wondered if it would be like this her whole life, with everyone - except _him_ - seeming so impossibly _young._ "Um, River," she said hesitantly, "Don't you think we should, like, wait for the professor before we check out the ruins? They might be dangerous."

"Do as you like, Chloe, but _I'm_ going to see the ruins." She was packing a number of small, useful items into various pockets in her jacket. She looked at the younger woman. "Well? Make up your mind; you coming or not?" Chloe nodded doubtfully. "Then come along, Chloe, we've ruins to explore!"

-/-/-/-/-/-/-

The two girls - one who thought she was prepared for anything and one trailing along behind timidly - crept into the ruins of the underground city that had been abandoned centuries before, when the world had been terraformed. Chloe hadn't exactly come prepared for climbing around a dark and ruined city, and River found herself irritated that Chloe tended to giggle nervously at odd moments. So as they advanced through the old corridors, she ranged further and further ahead, leaving the younger girl behind. She had her torch in one hand and a disintegrator pistol in the other, feeling ready for anything. She loved this sort of thing; who knew what might be round the next corner?

River turned that next corner and teetered on the edge of a gaping hole in the tunnel. She gasped and windmilled her arms to stay upright, and her torch flickered. When she and the torch both steadied, River aimed it down into the hole. She couldn't see the bottom and she shivered, abruptly noticing how silent and dark these tunnels were. She tried to shake off the sudden atavistic fear, and edged carefully around the pit before continuing on down the tunnels, deeper into the labyrinthine corridors beneath the planet's surface. _All right,_ she thought, _it should be all right now; I just have to keep a careful eye out for pitfalls then_.

And then she heard the scream. It was one of those long and drawn-out screams, the ones that go on forever as the screamer falls from a very great height. River shuddered sympathetically, and then she realized... she and Chloe were the only people here. She turned and raced back through the dark corridors, screaming Chloe's name, the circle of light thrown by her torch bobbing along in front of her. When the scream cut off just as she reached the edge of the hole, she halted abruptly and slumped to her knees, bruising them on the hard floor. Her torch tumbled from her suddenly numb fingers into the pit, leaving her in blackness.

And then she heard a strange whooping sound.

When she recognized the sound, she sagged with relief, her face buried in her hands, the pistol in her lap. _It's him. He saved Chloe. She would have died because of me, but he saved her. _The thoughts went round and round in her head._ He could have come for me too, but he didn't, he _shouldn't,_ I nearly killed her, I left her alone in the dark, why should he help _me_, I would have let her die, he would only save those _worth _saving and I would have let her die..._

River was fighting tears, rocking on her heels with her hands over her face, when she felt a touch on her shoulder. She gasped and grabbed for the pistol, gripping it and scrambling to her feet. The hand on her shoulder shifted to grasp her hand, taking the pistol away from her. She struggled but she couldn't get free... and she heard a familiar voice say her name. "River! Stop it now, stop. It's me, the Doctor." He had both of her wrists now, and he was speaking soothingly, as one would to a small child who'd had a nightmare. "Come along, River, you're all right." The voice was amused and tender now, and the hands moved from her wrists up to her shoulders, embracing her. They stood like that for a while, in the dark, with him stroking her back and her shoulders and her fighting not to cry. Then she pulled back very slightly, and he let her go. "Now then, let's go home." He snapped his fingers and the doors to the TARDIS opened, spilling light into the tunnel, and revealing the hole into which Chloe had fallen. River turned away from it.

"I killed her," River said, dully.

"No you didn't."

"I may as well have. I left her alone. In the dark."

"River, she's fine. Well, she's a bit dampish of course, and I'll have to refill the pool, but she's all right. Back at your base camp. Bit scared, naturally. But she's fine."

"I thought you'd leave me here," she whispered, "You should have."

"River, I never would."

"You should have. I would have let her die."

"River. _I never would_. I wouldn't do that to you." The Doctor led her into the TARDIS and closed the doors behind them, then turned to look at her. She was fighting tears again, shivering with reaction, and his voice gentled further. "Okay, right, come on. Come sit down." He took her hand and sat on the stairs, drawing her down beside him, and enfolded her in his arms. "Now then, River, it's all right," he murmured into her hair. They sat there, her cradled in his arms on the steps of the console room, and he made soothing noises until she stopped trembling. "Your friend is safe, and... what's that human phrase? Oh yes, 'all's well that ends well.'" He chuckled quietly and tipped her chin up with one long finger, then took her hands. "Better now?" She nodded.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly in a choked voice, not meeting his eyes. "I'm not usually this... fragile. But I thought... I thought you had left me here alone to... to punish me for nearly getting Chloe killed. She could have died, and it would have been my fault, and you... you're always saving people. But you wouldn't have saved _me_, because it was my own stupid arrogant fault that I was stuck here in the dark, you know? Or at least, that's what I _thought_." Her voice steadied as she looked him in the eyes. "But I misjudged you. Of course you wouldn't do that; saving people is what you _do_." A faint note of hysteria crept into her voice. "I just _leave_ them there to die, for no better reason than because I'm _annoyed _with them-" She broke off, confused, as he gave a short, mirthless bark of laughter.

"River, you are so _young_, so early in our mad, timey wimey-" He fumbled for the right word. "-_Relationship_. You have _no idea_ what I'm capable of when it comes to 'leaving people to die.' Why do you _think _I go about saving people? It's _because_ I've left people to die that I must save them whenever I can! Or I... I wouldn't be able to live with myself." His voice broke, and his eyes grew distant, as though he was talking to himself as much as to River. She watched him, aching with sympathy... he seemed to be in such _pain_. "I hope you've learned that lesson _now_, before someone actually does die because of you. Because even after _hundreds of years_, I sometimes still make that mistake and leave someone to die. I-" And it was his turn to break off in mid-sentence, because River kissed him.

_Oh, _River thought_, I've found out how to shut him up. _She slid her hands up his arms as she kissed him tentatively, then grew bolder and twined her fingers into his hair. His arms tightened reflexively around her as they lingered over the kiss, and she found herself pulling him closer. His hands wandered to her shoulders and then into the hair pinned on top of her head, and she whimpered into his mouth. He broke away, a little breathless. "River, I... are you sure about this? I don't think we've ever done this in your timeline, and I just need to know you're certain. I can't risk hurting you..." He trailed off as she put one finger to his lips.

"Hush now," River whispered, "You won't hurt me. You never would." She slid her hands under the lapels of his tweed jacket and laid them over his hearts, and he groaned her name and succumbed to her unspoken plea, bending his head to kiss her. _His mouth fits mine so well_, she thought, _as though we were made for each other._ Her hands spread out, feeling the heartbeats quicken. "Doctor. I want you to touch me. Please." She took his hand, placing it gently at her waist, and then she turned her face back up to his.

"Wait." The Doctor's voice was hoarse, with want and need, and maybe sadness, and he took her hands in his and kissed the knuckles one by one. He knelt in front of her where she sat on the stair, and started to unlace her boots. He got them both off, and the socks under them, then ran his hands gently up one leg, rolling up the trouser leg as he went. When he got to her bruised knee, he made a low, sympathetic sound in his throat. "Does it hurt?" He gently brushed a kiss against it.

"No," she said, a little breathlessly, "Not right now." She sighed as he began to work on her other leg. This time he trailed soft kisses from her ankle up the leg to the knee, and he smiled up at her when she moaned as he reached it. He shifted now, to sit beside her on the stair, and gently removed the pins from her hair, so that it tumbled down over his hands. Her breathing quickened as his sensitive fingers stroked her ears and scalp. "How...?"

"How do I know what you like?" He chuckled into her ear, sending shivers down her spine, "Oh my River... for you it's our first time, but for me... well, we've done this before." He nipped at her earlobe and she gasped. "Several times, I believe." She felt him smile against her ear. "But I won't tell you how many times - that would involve spoilers." He started nibbling on her ear, brushing little butterfly kisses along her jaw to her lips. At last he fastened her lips over hers, shuddering a little as she moaned his name into his mouth. His hands slipped out of her hair and down the curve of her neck, and started to undo the buttons on her shirt. She gasped as his fingers brushed her breasts, and he stopped unbuttoning to stroke her through the fabric. Her breath came faster and her head fell back. She arched her back and moaned his name again.

His fingers were moving quickly now, ridding them both of their clothes as fast as he could manage. And then they were both nude, and he slowed again, to that endless-seeming lovemaking. _So slow and so gentle, _River thought. And as their bodies merged, she heard the whisper of his mind brushing against hers, _love you always and completely, my beautiful River Song_, and the thought was tinged with a quiet sadness and regret in the knowledge that they would be apart more than they would be together. Their loving came to an end, and they lay, bodies and limbs entwined, murmuring endearments and stroking each other's skin, until finally they slept.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-

"Oh, him," said the sales clerk in the little shop, looking at the picture River showed him the next time she was on Messaline. "Yeah, he comes by every few years. They say he's the Man Who Never Would - the one who brought us out of the tunnels and into the light. I dunno about _that_ - he don't look the same, see? - but he's a good man."

"Yes, he is," replied River Song, "The best man I've ever known."


End file.
